Match Report
Wednesday 13th July v- Community Projects at Avery Hill Park (Ray Willis Trophy)
On a windswept day, the skip was mildly surprised at the large gay entourage that had gathered by six o'clock. With nine players present and. the oppo looking like the entire cast of a remake of 'One flew over the Cuckoos nest; we elected to bat; and bat we certainly did. With 'Noskin' Timms unavailable and Steve and Darren at a 'no hopers dinner, the skip drafted in Dave Spence (A Bethlem Rover), Simon courtesy of the Revenue and Nathan, who is plagued by the dubious credential of being loosely related to Darth Clements.
Dave S and Gordon opened and immediately the runs began to flow, with the Jack Nicholson lookalike bowler taking the brunt of the punishment. Gordon was again run out but once more had helped compile quick runs. His replacement Neil C followed in similar circumstances and his obvious talent provoked transfer negotiations with the Oppo. Steve M eased the score along in unspectacular style, shielding Dave from the strike, while compiling his runs in a style not dissimilar to Darren. The rain that had been continuous for much of play eventually turned to downpour and we were forced to shelter until the worst was past.
On resumption, Steve failed to continue where he had left off and was out for a valiant 26. Mark added more valuable runs before Dave was dismissed for a fine 48. The brothers Guy took up the bowling attack, but fared little better against Mark, who was given ample opportunity to show the full range of his batting repertoire. The succession of beamers and long hops were dealt with in a manner that included the little seen overhead smash and forehand pass, while the fielders pitched in with excellent demonstrations of the drop shot and catching the ball in the mouth. With Neil M and Jim C adding to the excitement with their usual nonsensical contributions, the innings fell into disarray, closing at 146 for7; the not out batsmen Mark 33 and Nathan 1.
From the outset of their reply, it was obvious that the oppo were as totally incompetent as their way out appearance suggested. Apart from the obvious folly of opening the bowling with Neil C, offering the oppo every opportunity to score rapid runs, the rest of the innings degenerated into farce. The hostile attack was continued by Steve and Mark, although the opener did a fine job protecting the lesser batsmen from these two brutish pacemen. If the batsmen thought they had seen off the quickies they were in for a big surprise, with the skip turning to his fiery quintet of seamers to whittle out the middle order. He was not to be disappointed, with Simon, Andy 'bounce em out' Paul and Dave all collecting a wicket apiece and being well supported by tight spells from Darth and Gordon. The innings was eventually wrapped up by Nathan and the Skip, with the last wicket falling at 62 in the final over.
Pen Pictures
Dave Spence An impressive debut Thanks to Bethlem for his day release Spent most of the evening slagging off Southern Ale
Gordon Schultz Gave his hands a rest from Wicket-Keeping duties but still picked up a catch
Neil Chapman Words alone cannot describe this young mans contribution
Simon Horner Another debutant making his mark with a wicket and six runs with the bat
Steve Martin Is this really the last time we will see that suit? Rumoured to be exhibited in the Clothes of a Bygone Age Season at The National History Museum
Mark Paine A solid middle order from the Big Girlie
Jim Clements - Two fine catches made up for the disappointing display with the willow
Neil Morrison Replacement Wicket-Keeper for the day had obviously been watching Gord to closely as revealed by his incompetent clowning
Andy Paul Broke out of a heroin trip just in time to bowl his two overs and then returned to the clouds.
Spud Whale 100% record continues
Nathan Probets Another wicket-taking debutant fortunately chose not to heed any advice offered by his Brother-In-Law
