Match Report
Sunday 7 July -v- Westcombe Parkers at Greenwich Park
The pitch at the Royal Park again proved to be a great leveller, as runs proved hard to come by. Having lost the toss, Gord informed us that he would have batted, if given the choice and was thus happy to accept WP's invitation. How we remain unbeaten this season continues to be a mystery. On a typically moist green-topper, under leaden skies, Richard and Jim treated the sparse crowd to absolutely no entertainment, preferring to admire the ball as it boomeranged around and on the odd occasions that bat connected with ball contented themselves to lean on their bats admiring the shot. After 12 overs of this painstaking drivel God appeared through the clouds and placed both batsmen at one end. The only decision for the umpire to make was which tedious opener had to go. After some debate Jim's 46 ball entrenchment for 5 runs was curtailed. Gordon played a cavalier cameo, including a straight six, which went as high as it did long, before walking extravagantly across his wicket and losing his leg stump. (Well he would have done, if we hadn't been using spring-back stumps) The BS de RC put successive ducks to his name and though Simply kept out the hat-trick ball, he too didn't last long. Timmo proved that you should never cut in July (not at GP - anyway!) and Richard, who had stuck around whilst never coming to terms with the pitch fell for a dogged 44. The wag in the tail came from Chucks, Simon and Spud, the latter's three sixes helping to post a respectable 153 at the close from forty overs.
The Parkers provided a tea for the first time since Brenda's Chocolate Cake was on the scene; disappointingly there was none this time, though Simon was able to sort out his packed lunches for the next week, with the leftovers. Our hosts found life in the middle equally daunting, with GT and Simon exerting a stranglehold, which we never fully relaxed. Simon found the conditions particularly to his liking, returning a club best 4-13 from his 8 overs. After taking his fourth wicket he was heard bemoaning the lack of money in his wallet and then produced an over of the most blatant jug avoiding deliveries that I have ever witnessed. Richard 'tossed' the ball up in a spear throwing manner and was rewarded with two wickets, the second from a stunning catch by 'Crouching Tortoise - Hidden Goat' who appeared to be grazing contentedly, before thrusting out a hoof to claim the catch. Some comedy dive-over fielding by Timmo on the long-on boundary and some aggressive hitting from Mr Mayo, during a period of the game that was allowed to drift, briefly resurrected WP's hopes of victory. The Skip however, knew when the game had drifted for long enough. Jim was summoned from the pasture and with the help of GT and WP's own version of a comedy run-out, which involved both batsmen and a runner congregating at one end, the game drew to a close with The Parkers all out 37 runs shy of the target. Owing to some form of disagreement, we were entertained in the Ashburnham Arms instead of imbibing of the exquisite Young's at the Richard I. Makker, Ex-skip and Darkie bolstered our numbers as well as the noise level. Simon, obviously conscious of his efforts to deprive us of a jug, sloped away, preferring to pass time with The Professor of Rhetoric for the University of Los Angeles, rather than joining us in our discussion, concerning the merits of Gord's captaincy. The rowdy conversation was regularly interjected by 'toasts' for the former skipper; is there mutiny afoot? The Lofty Fellow became louder in direct proportion to the amount of Master Brew he consumed, until all but the Spitfire ran out and we were asked to leave. This undoubtedly saved us from a raucous rendition of Five Gold Rings from the Lankster.
