Match Report
Sunday 19 May –v- Citibank at Chislehurst
Cock-a-hoop from the previous weeks record smashing performance, the skip was nethertheless not counting his young chickens too soon and was suitably concerned that we were likely to be mullered. Bromley Council had done us proud by covering various animal droppings with piles of sawdust, allowing cyclo-cross racers to use the pitch as a skid-pan and cutting off the water supply. All this obviously gave a good impression to our visitors, who on close scrutiny of the wicket decided to bowl us out really cheaply and have an early night.
Unfortunately, the idea of continuing where we left off from the previous week never really materialised and all too soon bails and stumps were being disturbed with out runs ticking on to the scoreboard. At eleven for six, the skip was starting to look a trifle worried, but he need not have worried come the arrival of a half-cut noskin. While GT was being slapped about and dressed in white clothing, Darth did his utmost to avert a club all time low score. This was achieved with some characteristically big hits, but unfortunately the time elapsed was insufficient to enable a complete recovery from Limps drunken stupor and his contribution to the innings was seriously impaired. Despite Glen’s incapacity to see, he and Daz added 22 and then Old B'stard went a bit crazy to carry the total to 73 all out. At tea the skip tried to convince himself that an improbable win was still on the cards - had he been drinking? Complete embarrassment was averted by a tidy display in the field, which yielded five wickets before the target was surpassed with 14 overs to spare. A little more luck, as Citibank escaped some airy shots and the result might well have swung the other way.
It was difficult to put ones finger on the root of our problem but we adjourned to the Bull to discover the meaning of life and relaxed in the fact that we had nearly a full session of drinking in which to find the solution. At the end of the day it was decided that our batting was complete shite!
Pen Pics
Gordy -Scored 0 - pulled up with a leg strain - a sad day.
Spud -Plumbed the depths of despair as we looked like being skittled for under twenty -looked good for his one run.
Daz -Batted and bowled for his average -Selfish bastard!! Silly haircut -Out for a golden dropped a catch off the skip and surely has little future in the side
JB -If he had grey hair would look almost as old as B’stard.4th top score with two runs.
Browns A&I -Collectively contributed nil, joining our last brother pairing of the Looms.
Darth -Averted disaster with scant regard for the bowling for a season-best 12
Slack -Jumped out of the way in the slips to cost us lots of runs- has found a new injury that prevents him from bowling.
Warren -Oh dear
Grey man --Peppered the tennis courts with some lusty blows and bowled well with scant reward.
